Focusing, details, words that have always gone with me like peanut butter and jelly. I have always been known since high school and even before, of having the details, the instructions, everything down of knowing what to do, figured out. But then, I had kids.........and things changed.
To give some background, I was a great student, got my homework done ahead of time, usually above and beyond what was expected. I always had all my assignments, in great detail recorded as to what needed to be done. When I started to work, I was the same way, everything written down, all the details recorded. Then I became involved with my husband, and his anti A type personality, his relaxed personality. We were married. Years later, I could not imagine how that would drive me crazy, and that I would have birthed 2 boys, with his ADD, that would have given me several gray hairs. So lets talk about those kids, two boys and 1 girl to be exact, the girl, thank goodness, was like me when I was younger, so I didn't have to remind her about a thing, so I got a break there, with the boys, I got the lions share.
Losing my mind, one brain cell at a time. So I have a theory, as to why we feel like we are losing our minds. My theory, as wives, mothers, employees, etc, is we are expected to remember everything for everyone. Our brains, if you picture them like sponges, can only absorb so much. So just like a sponge that is too full of water, will start to have water trickle over, if our memories are too full of things we have to think about, so those factoids will trickle over as well. Not to mention if they are told to us if we are distracted, or told to us in a run by(litterally, your kids run by, and tell you!) It could be organic as well, I have a friend who had chemotherapy for cancer, and there has been some studies shown that it can affect your brain, show she blames forgetfullness, on chemo brain. I had brain surgery, had some dead tissue along with a tumor removed, so I blame it on part of my brain removed.
There has been an email that has circulated however, that has talked about adult ADD, where someone is looking for their keys, goes through the house, finds this, then picks up that, remembers to do that, sees somethings else they need to do, and after going through the whole house forgets what they were originally doing. We all find this hysterical because, we all live it now! I remember in early college, coming out of a night class, after a lengthy final, having a hard time finding my car, the security guard escorting me to my car thought it was the funniest thing I couldn't find my car. Well this was after 2, two hour finals, now I can't even go in to Target for 20 minutes without forgetting where I parked.
My family says, that I occasionally seem to zone out, entering the twilight zone, if you will,sometimes I am just chilling cuz I need it but I may tell them, I am just charging my super powers. Resting my brain for what lies ahead for the day. I still stay on top of things at work, still focus, pay attention to details, but I have top secret weapons now that help me, they are called post its, smart phones, calendar messaging at work, and reminder notes. I know my limitations and am learning how to work with them.
There are alot of things I miss from when I was younger, my metabolism is definetly one, my ability to focus can be another, but my ability to reason and compensate, shows this ole girl isn't near ready to go out to pasture for many years to come!
Cheers!
Linda
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Salami and Cheese, my dog, and the Blue Danube
Today, we were rushing. We were rushing to go see a movie, the Kings Speech, as a matter of fact, which I would heartily recommend. Tom was off in the afternoon, after an exhausting round of golf in the morning(whew), and it was my short day at work, so we were trying to fit in a twilight show, before Tom had to leave again in the evening for his Monday night bible study. So we were rushing. The things, we Americans do best. We rush through work, kids programs, meals, traffic, you name it at one time or another, we have rushed through it. Well, we were going to be late to the movie, so when I got home, my husband had some crackers and cold cuts out and told me to grab some lunch really quick because we needed to get going.
Let me set back up a bit, in the background when I walked in the house, Tom had his ipod on his Bose dock, and often he has classical music playing. I didn't notice it at first, because I ran upstairs to change out of my uniform into regular clothes, but as I came down to gather my express lunch of salami, cheese, crackers, and raw vegies. I noticed the Blue Danube playing in the background. It is a song I have heard it many times in the past and not thought a thing, but today it struck me. I started to dance. Twirling, and swirling, eating salami and cheese, my dog took notice, and became my perfect dance partner. He kept up with perfect time, I would swirl some salami his way, and his swirl would be in synchronization with mine, if we were on dancing with the stars, that silver ball would have been ours!
Years of dance lessons, ballet, jazz, tap, resurfaced from my past, and came exploding from my feet, giving me grace beyond all measure, Natalie Portman from Black Swan couldn't hold a candle to me at that moment, with my dog as my perfect partner, and my coach of a husband looking on, well with some kind of expression on his face.
The more floor I covered, the bigger the smile on my face, the more laughter came from my mouth. I was having a great time. Swirling and twirling in my kitchen, with my lunch meat, my dancing dog, and the blue danube waltz. I realized with all of our rushing, we don't take the time to laugh and just be happy, and dance around, and isn't that what God intended? He intended hard work, of course, but his biggest intent was for us to be happy!
As my salami and cheese, gave way, and the music died down, I realized my dance career was coming to a close. It made my realize, that sometimes, in all of our rushing, we just need to stop, throw some lunchmeat around, and dance with our dog.
Cheers!
Linda
Let me set back up a bit, in the background when I walked in the house, Tom had his ipod on his Bose dock, and often he has classical music playing. I didn't notice it at first, because I ran upstairs to change out of my uniform into regular clothes, but as I came down to gather my express lunch of salami, cheese, crackers, and raw vegies. I noticed the Blue Danube playing in the background. It is a song I have heard it many times in the past and not thought a thing, but today it struck me. I started to dance. Twirling, and swirling, eating salami and cheese, my dog took notice, and became my perfect dance partner. He kept up with perfect time, I would swirl some salami his way, and his swirl would be in synchronization with mine, if we were on dancing with the stars, that silver ball would have been ours!
Years of dance lessons, ballet, jazz, tap, resurfaced from my past, and came exploding from my feet, giving me grace beyond all measure, Natalie Portman from Black Swan couldn't hold a candle to me at that moment, with my dog as my perfect partner, and my coach of a husband looking on, well with some kind of expression on his face.
The more floor I covered, the bigger the smile on my face, the more laughter came from my mouth. I was having a great time. Swirling and twirling in my kitchen, with my lunch meat, my dancing dog, and the blue danube waltz. I realized with all of our rushing, we don't take the time to laugh and just be happy, and dance around, and isn't that what God intended? He intended hard work, of course, but his biggest intent was for us to be happy!
As my salami and cheese, gave way, and the music died down, I realized my dance career was coming to a close. It made my realize, that sometimes, in all of our rushing, we just need to stop, throw some lunchmeat around, and dance with our dog.
Cheers!
Linda
Sunday, January 30, 2011
The PGA and the Magic Blanket, the perfect elixir for the afternoon nap!
I am a golf widow! I am not only a golf widow, but I am THE golf widow! My husband lives and breathes the sport. Now he is mindful of the family and has limited his actual play to only once or twice a week(compared to some of his cronies that are out 3-4 times a week, but hey, these are retired guys!) Did I say what my husband does? He is a firefighter. When he is at work, and a fire comes in, no one in the world works harder than these guys, but they do have an awesome schedule that does allow them some great time off. With his time off, he likes to fill his time with golf. He is mindful of the family schedule though, and does play weekdays, (cheaper rates, less crowded), and it allows time with the family when we are home on weekends.
Now how exactly did we get to this point I ask myself? Then I have to remember back to yesteryear, when he was 22 and needed a job, it was I, not he, that recommended he apply for a job as an assistant at a golf club where a friend of my folks was the professional. What was I thinking? Tom had started to play golf, but was very new to the game, but it was a simple little hobby, this put him in the grip of its spell. Tom worked as an assistant and eventually got his PGA card as a full blooded club professional, not a tiny feat. Now I digress, but I wanted to give you a history of what started out his passion.
Tom not only loved to play golf, but he loved to watch it as well. He became such a conosseur of golf television, that he began to tape tournaments. First the majors, then any little tournament that was on television. At one time, we had VHS tapes lining the top of our walk in closet double rows stacked, that he would watch late at night, possibly up with a small child. This was something that ultimately became a source of friction for us. I hated watching them the first time around, let alone having to watch them again! I like fast moving sports, like soccer or football! Something exciting! For years, golf was a sense of strife with us, possibly because I didn't like all the attention it got, that I didn't get. Or that I felt that it took away from our family life. But as we have grown older I have come to peace with it.
How have I done this you may ask? Well he goes early now, when I am at work, so I don't feel like I am missing out on his time so much. Plus, the weekends is not only a time to have fun from the long work week, but also a time to rejuvenate for the week ahead. Our Sunday is filled with church, usually a lunch out, sometimes with friends, and then a quiet afternoon(many times watching golf, which seems to have the longest season of all the sports combined), but I have discovered a secret weapon. Now that I am older, and doing so much more it seems with work, I need a nap. So put on a golf tournament, and we will both be happy. Plus for Christmas, I was given the most wonderful gift, a heated throw blanket, I call it my magic blanket, because my dog, who has very little fur on his underbelly thinks it is the bomb, is on it instantly. So put on a golf tournament, give me my magic blanket, and I am out!
Now how exactly did we get to this point I ask myself? Then I have to remember back to yesteryear, when he was 22 and needed a job, it was I, not he, that recommended he apply for a job as an assistant at a golf club where a friend of my folks was the professional. What was I thinking? Tom had started to play golf, but was very new to the game, but it was a simple little hobby, this put him in the grip of its spell. Tom worked as an assistant and eventually got his PGA card as a full blooded club professional, not a tiny feat. Now I digress, but I wanted to give you a history of what started out his passion.
Tom not only loved to play golf, but he loved to watch it as well. He became such a conosseur of golf television, that he began to tape tournaments. First the majors, then any little tournament that was on television. At one time, we had VHS tapes lining the top of our walk in closet double rows stacked, that he would watch late at night, possibly up with a small child. This was something that ultimately became a source of friction for us. I hated watching them the first time around, let alone having to watch them again! I like fast moving sports, like soccer or football! Something exciting! For years, golf was a sense of strife with us, possibly because I didn't like all the attention it got, that I didn't get. Or that I felt that it took away from our family life. But as we have grown older I have come to peace with it.
How have I done this you may ask? Well he goes early now, when I am at work, so I don't feel like I am missing out on his time so much. Plus, the weekends is not only a time to have fun from the long work week, but also a time to rejuvenate for the week ahead. Our Sunday is filled with church, usually a lunch out, sometimes with friends, and then a quiet afternoon(many times watching golf, which seems to have the longest season of all the sports combined), but I have discovered a secret weapon. Now that I am older, and doing so much more it seems with work, I need a nap. So put on a golf tournament, and we will both be happy. Plus for Christmas, I was given the most wonderful gift, a heated throw blanket, I call it my magic blanket, because my dog, who has very little fur on his underbelly thinks it is the bomb, is on it instantly. So put on a golf tournament, give me my magic blanket, and I am out!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The Bowling Date
Today we went and did something that we haven't done in quite some time, we went bowling. By we, I mean, myself, my husband, and my 16 year old son. I think the last time we bowled must have been about 8 years ago or so, when the kids were really little. I have 3 children to be exact, an older son, who is married now, 22, in the army, a daughter who is 20 and off to college with a life of her own, and the 16 year old, still stuck at home with mom and dad. Whille bowling, however, memories kept flashing back in my mind, not of the times we shared with the kids, although a few of those bumber lane memories with the kids running down the smoothly greased lanes and slipping and falling down the center running after their already too heavy balls did creep in my mind. But of the times I was remembering the times that I, as a 16 year old, used to hang out at the bowling alley on a Friday night, play a few games, and then go grab some pizza. Maybe I hit 16 because my own 16 year old was with us, I don't know, but I could not shake the thought.
When we first arrived however, was a different story. Remember when we used to get those funky shoes, we thought were either hysterical or cool? Well when I got them now, they were just gross, I wanted some anti bacterial spray.(First sign I was no longer 16) Then when I approached the edge of the lane holding up my pristine, used, bowling alley owned orange ball, my arm started to ache from my tennis elbow surgery I had last year. I started to do the foot slide, ouch, foot surgery still healing on right foot from the fall, (signs 2 and 3, I am no longer 16). We start playing, dang, was the bowling alley this loud when I was 16? Sure is now!(16 is leaving me fast, middle age is running me down like a freight train). My first thoughts are, this is going to be a long afternoon! But wait, laughter, and it is coming from me, my elbow isn't hurting any more, my foot is taking it ok, and I am having fun! Woo hoo 16 is BACK! We continue to have a great afternoon. In between games we decided to get some snacks, my husband gets some nachos, I grab a slice of pizza, Jake grabs some nacho fries(a winning combo there if there ever was one). We start to finish up the second game, and reality returns, I open up my purse, and grab the tums, for the nachos and pizza, something I wouldn't have had to take at 16!
But todays outing did give me an idea, there is alot that goes on between our teens and middle age, whether it is with living it out or raising kids in that time period, or a combination, so join me in my crazy life, of the good times, some sad, and trying to find my sanity between 16 and middle age.
Linda
When we first arrived however, was a different story. Remember when we used to get those funky shoes, we thought were either hysterical or cool? Well when I got them now, they were just gross, I wanted some anti bacterial spray.(First sign I was no longer 16) Then when I approached the edge of the lane holding up my pristine, used, bowling alley owned orange ball, my arm started to ache from my tennis elbow surgery I had last year. I started to do the foot slide, ouch, foot surgery still healing on right foot from the fall, (signs 2 and 3, I am no longer 16). We start playing, dang, was the bowling alley this loud when I was 16? Sure is now!(16 is leaving me fast, middle age is running me down like a freight train). My first thoughts are, this is going to be a long afternoon! But wait, laughter, and it is coming from me, my elbow isn't hurting any more, my foot is taking it ok, and I am having fun! Woo hoo 16 is BACK! We continue to have a great afternoon. In between games we decided to get some snacks, my husband gets some nachos, I grab a slice of pizza, Jake grabs some nacho fries(a winning combo there if there ever was one). We start to finish up the second game, and reality returns, I open up my purse, and grab the tums, for the nachos and pizza, something I wouldn't have had to take at 16!
But todays outing did give me an idea, there is alot that goes on between our teens and middle age, whether it is with living it out or raising kids in that time period, or a combination, so join me in my crazy life, of the good times, some sad, and trying to find my sanity between 16 and middle age.
Linda
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